The Light In Ken's Darkness
by Blonde-Eko
Summary: A KenKari fic about Ken's battle to come to terms with who he is and what he has done. Can Kari show him the true power of forgiveness, love and light? Rated T just to be safe. Wormmon is such a cute digimon!


**Ken's Dream**

**OK I don't own digimon, the characters portrayed here are all characters from digimon and so... guess what? I'm afraid I don't own them either. What a shame!**

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_They danced the night away, he held her in his arms and she smiled at him... bliss. _

_'Ken,' she whispered softly in her angelic voice, 'Ken, I love you'_

_'I love you too-' he began to say, but suddenly she was gone, dissapeared and he was alone. _

_He didn't know where he was anymore, or where she was, and he shivered. It was cold here, so cold. It was the darkness that was so cold, he realised, and the darkness was crowding in. It was everywhere, thick and heavy, he couldn't breathe._

_The darkness was suffocating him. Darkness enveloping darkness, his very soul was killing him slowly._

_'Help...' he cried out, but no sound came, 'Help me... Someone please.' He panicked, no-one heard him and no-one came. No-one cared, he thought sadly, and it was all his fault. He deserved to be dispised because of who he was, because of what he was._

_He was Ken Itchijouji and he was the digimon emperor._

* * *

He woke up sweating and shaking, the dreams were back. He rolled over and sat up, breathing heavily.

"Ken, what's wrong?" asked Wormmon who was by his side, concerned for his friend.

Ken looked down at the little catepillar type digimon and tried to smile reassuringly at him, "No-nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Really." He stuttered, trying to breathe normally again and compose himself.

Wormmon didn't buy it, he knew Ken too well and he was worried. But he knew better than to push him into giving an answer, Ken was a secretive soul and there were some things he refused to reveal to anyone. Even him, his best friend.

Ken rose out of bed and walked into the kitchen, hoping that some good wholesome breakfast would calm him down. He shoved some cereal into a bowl distractedly and poured on some milk. His hands were shaking.

He was not the digimon emperor anymore, so why was he still haunted with his past, with the darkness and guilt? He had thought that he had left all of that behind him years ago. Obviously he had thought wrong. The dreams were back with him and just as real as ever.

He spooned mouthful after mouthful of the crunchy cereal into his mouth and chewed mechanically. What did this mean? His dreams had always meant something before, there had always been a reason for them, but that was all in the past. They had saved the digital world once and for all and put the troubles and pain behind them. Then they had moved on.

Only Ken had never really put the past behind him, at least not properly. And now it was back again, just as vivid as ever.

Wormmon sidled up to him and sat on the table infront of him, Ken then spooned some cereal into Wormmon's mouth without thinking, taking his partner by suprise as he nearly chocked on the mushy muck that Ken called cereal.

Ken realised what he was doing and nearly laughed, before hurriedly apologising and wiping up poor Wormmon's chin where he had dribbled abit of the milk. "Oh I'm sorry Wormmon, how silly of me. Here, let me help." He mopped up the mess that the unfortunate digimon had made over the table and grinned sheepishly at him, "I don't know what I was thinking."

Once Wormmon had composed himself he said, "It's fine Ken, you just took me by suprise, that's all. But Ken..." He hesitated

Ken looked at his partner and knew what was coming, "Yes pal?"

He crawled into Ken's lap and snuggled up to him, the closest thing he ever got to hugging him properly, "I was just... worried. About you." He paused and Ken blushed slightly, "It's just that you've been acting kinda strangely this morning, and I know you had a nightmare last night, I heard you. And it was no normal nightmare Ken, I haven't heard you like that since..." He sighed, not wanting to say this, or bring it up, "Since you were digimon emperor and you had those nightmares about the darkness."

Ken flinched and Wormmon cringed, mentioning those days and the name 'digimon emperor' was not strictly forbidden as such, but it was mutually understood that it was a sore subject. For both of them.

"I, uh, I..." he swirled the cereal around absently with his spoon, "Oh Wormmon, your right. I did have a nightmare last night." he figured it was best to talk about it, and he knew he could always count on Wormmon, '_so here goes..._' He took a deep breath, "It was about the darkness. It suffocated me and... and I called out for help but no-one came..." He began shaking and Wormmon thought he heard a sob, "No-one cared about me because I am the digimon emperor." he looked at Wormmon sadly, "I deserved it."

"NO!" Wormmon shouted, suddenly angry, "You are not the digimon emperor, you are Ken." He calmed down and rubbed his head reassuringly against his best friend, "You are _my Ken_. The digimon emperor died when you turned away from him. He's gone Ken, the he doesn't exist anymore."

Ken's fist clenched and he looked down, "He does exist, he will always exist as long as I am alive. I am the digimon emperor, Wormmon, and I always will be." He broke down into sobs, "I can never escape him, myself, even now. He-he still haunts me and he always will."

Wormmon tried to snuggle deeper into Ken, and Ken held him tight, crying silently.

Ken was now sixteen years old and to most people he was seen as a contented, popular, genius child. To most people he was the perfect kid with the perfect life. Only a handful of people knew his secret, and out of those handful only one knew how much it affected him still. Only Wormmon knew that he still despised himself deep down, and that no amount of good deeds could ever make right in Ken's mind his actions of the past. That he still carried the guilt and the shame.

And now it was only Wormmon who knew about this nightmare.

But even Wormmon had no idea of what had really scared him. It was not the darkness which had caused him to cry and shake and sweat, nor was it the abandonment. No. What had really scared him was the thought of loosing that girl, the girl in his dream.

The thought of loosing Kari.

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KK hope that was okay. Just wanted to try out a Kenkari fic. Please review, I dunno if I'll carry on with this, I definatley won't if I get no reviews cause I don't think it was that good. But still. I do like the idea of Ken liking Kari, I reckon they'd make a cute couple, but I still prefer TK and Kari.

But what I do love is the friendship between Ken and Wormmon, Wormmon is just so amazing and loyal and cute!! So I did try to bring this out abit in this chapter, but I dunno if I did Wormmon justice.

Anyway, cheers for reading!


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